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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
Age : 44
Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Update....   18/6/2008, 9:54 am

OK guys lots been happening and dont know whether i am coming or going! Rolling Eyes

I have had many people round and involved lately and this is what has been happening:

Children Disability Nurse: she came to see if T fitted the criteria for help from them (we all know if our children are intelligent they do not! Mad) of course T was too bright BUT she was shocked at the fact that Ts problems are not seen for what they are. While she was here T had his friend over to play as it was a wet day, T swore at his friend and swore at me and he was being very rude by rubbing his himself on the door and laughing about it all in front of the nurse. T was also very demanding regarding how minutes until she wants to talk to him and he was stressing about how long it was going to take, all the behaviours T showed were that clearly of a child on the spectrum. The nurse said that she is shocked that sch (dont get me started on that one!) are not being more understanding and she would normally just leave my home from this as T does not fit the criteria but she said she said she cannot leave and do nothing.

She later rang me and informed me that she is writing to the Paed and informing him of her concerns and that she would like him to start the ball rolling in regards to getting support set up in sch, not gonna hold my breath there i can tell ya!

So i give her her due, she was a lovely and she also said that normally she would give parents tips on how to handle such behaviour but wen she witnessed how i sent Ts friend home and punished T for his behaviour she said no way is my parenting an issue, try telling the ignorant professionals invovled that!

Socail services: we have been allocated a family support worker: ok the man who is our worker is getting on but a lovely chap, will he be able to
understand and work with us? time will tell!

He came to meet T last week and T straight away got him doing sums and all T wanted was to do sums, early days yet but we have him coming again next week.

T no longer has a social worker as he is going to school now and other services from them are not required as all they believe that its my parenting that is the problem. I informed them of the nurse coming to see myself and T and they will get in touch with her, they need to listen to the few professionals who see and recognize the behvaiours that are a concern and for what they really are rather than them who do not want to see them and just blame me!

School: hmmmm what can i say the educational system is a shambles in my opinion: I met with the 1-1 a few wks ago after having to pester and pester to see her, so while we chatted she admitted that T does get angry & upset if the children dont play the game by the rules (how many yrs have i been saying this a major prob for T? Mad) she gave me an example about a running game and that if the children dont run to the line exactly he clearly is frustrated. I informed her that this is the same for football and if penalties are not given when they should be he kicks off there too.

I finally got the home/sch diary set up from this meeting (3 months after first requesting it) and what has been written is trying to play things down but of course i put my bit in there very loud and clear. For instance T had a fight with 2 boys last week and in the book it is noted as an arguement. An arguement is not physical but what happend was physical, how do they get it so wrong? T came home with marks on his hand, wrist and both legs from this fight with 2 boys, yes T was taking on 2 boys and it was an arguement not a fight, all this was from a boy hand balling the ball so T lost it wen it wasnt awarded a penalty. The next day the head asked me if i had spoke with the children involved as to the comments i made in the book and i inforemd that no i did not and it was what T had told me.

Sch try to say what T says is not exactly true and i know that better than anyone but when T was having to tell me that he couldnt see the board in class and was showing me the distance that he could not see it from that was no way a lie or him not telling me the truth of what goes on in sch. He also was using role play to tell me through the characters of others children that the teacher said he might need glasses and how the other children saw that he could not see. Not once did sch staff tell me T had a problem with seeing the board and that he might need glasses, this was all from T having to tell me himself so from this i took him to the optician and got his eyes tested and now he is wearing glasses all day at sch because he is short sighted.

I find it shocking and ignorant that sch felt it not important to tell me and it was only through T that i realised he had problems like this at sch Mad

I picked T up the other day and the teacher said she hopes he wont be kicking when he goes to her lesson 2moro and another teacher said he doesnt like his personal space being invaded while lining up (T has lots of probs in sch while lining up) so when lining up he has to be at the front or back, again missing all the obvious signs of his problems that have been there for yrs!

We saw the OT yesterday and T did fine in all the tests she did with him but she like the disability nurse was very concerned regarding his bahaviour, T was saying 'poo poo dog' while writing a sentence she asked him to do, he did it eventually and was saying very inappropriate things along side the words he was writing. He swore and called us a bitch and this and that, he was violent with me and was very demanding.

She advises that Autism Outreach should get invovled in sch because his problems need help and she said T is very Aspergers and she works with kids like him all the time. I explained that what i am getting from some so called professionals is that he is too intelligent to have an ASD and i am to blame. She said no way and she will make a report including what she saw and witnessed, she will write to the Paed and also his class teacher. Bless her she really saw Aspergers clearly and yet the ignorance is still there with some so called professionals it makes me sick to my stomach Sad

Alos guys T has to be circumcised i think, he sees the specialists on 21st July and boy do i dread this happening, it was hard enough with C when he had to have it done aged 4. I had to sleep sat up holding Cs hands so he didnt grab himself during his sleep as he could have pulled out the stitches, this went on for 2 wks and it looks like ive gotta do it all again! Rolling Eyes

Ok thats it of now, there is more and i will be seeing my solicitor within the next wk as she is back off annual leave 2moro so will update again wen i have more from her, i have complaints and battles to fight in all directions right now and i just want it all to go away, i know they wont go away and i have to see it through but never in a million yrs did i dream of things coming to this and being so soul destroying.

Im keeping my spirits up the best i can tho and trying to stay positive and like Ts Paed said we know what T is like and what his problems are and they will come to light in the end. I know a lot of people will be put to shame in the end and i will make sure of it for the hell i have been through and more so for what it has done to T, i have to pick up the pieces when he hates himself for how he is, how he cant take it anymore (yep T says all this a lot these days and i have it on cam all this he said a few wks ago) and how he wishes he had never been born, that is sickening to hear my child say such things and yet he gets no real help or support Sad

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kebab

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Number of posts : 347
Age : 40
Localisation : Northants
Registration date : 2007-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Update....   18/6/2008, 3:26 pm

Bless you Bambi, you keep in there and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel, ark at me giving advice, very good at giving but not good at taking.

Next time you come to see Grandma let me know and I will give you a massage, I might have even got my corse sorted by then and can practice some of the stuff I learned on you.
Take care xx
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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
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Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Re: Update....   19/6/2008, 12:07 pm

Thanx kebab i would love that! Very Happy i will be down sometime in the summer hols but not sure of a date as yet and dont worry Grandma will let u know wen im at hers Smile

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kebab

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PostSubject: Re: Update....   19/6/2008, 1:34 pm

she keeps forgetting, she's not called grandma for nothing pmsl xx
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GrandmaKyak

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Number of posts : 897
Localisation : East Anglia
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Update....   19/6/2008, 2:34 pm

Heehee!! At this age I can get away with most things!!

Thinking of you all the time Bambi & love you big, big much.

Stay strong northern lass born & bred cos you will come through whilst paving the way for parents treading your foot steps behind you.

Your journey will inspire the next generation & give them hope. xx
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misty

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PostSubject: Re: Update....   23/6/2008, 1:50 am

Sounds like u have alot going on, just want to send some hugs x
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