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kebab

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Number of posts : 347
Age : 40
Localisation : Northants
Registration date : 2007-03-14

PostSubject: Do you ever use   17/6/2008, 1:21 pm

the naughty step?
My cousin comes over some weekends with her kids, and to give her a break I try to take the pressure of her with the kids, but am finding it increasingly hard, her daughter will only respond to a certain tone of voice when she has been naughty, I can't put her on my naughty step as it is too near to things she shouldn't touch, so I put her in a corner facing away, but she see's this as a game and is often laughing, so instead of the 1 minute for every year she ends up staying longer only to say sorry then do it again. My cousin has this problem at home aswell and often finds her upstairs touching stuff she knows she shouldn't. Has anyone got any ideas what else we could do? or we could end up with her in the naughty step/ corner all day.
Sorry to go on but we think she has adhd only because society usually see's it as the most common explanation to her behavour, are there any other disorders that have similar trates.
P.S if you haven't already guessed it sammywheeler is said cousin, but is a bit shy, plus when you have family saying it's all in your head, when they only see her a couple of times a year you tend to believe them xx
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misty

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Number of posts : 783
Age : 44
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   18/6/2008, 1:27 am

I dont really know much about adhd but I know my dd whos nearly 10 wouldnt understand why she was being put on the naughty step. Do she have an understanding of why she is being put there? If she dosent I dont think it would work. With dd we try to ignore behaviours the first few times and she often forgets about them and dosent do them again. She could also be touching etc for attention, I know asd is abit different adhd but if dd gets a response from something (neg or pos) she will then repeat the behaviour, not to be naughty but to get the same response. I tend to practise positive parenting, ignoring cewrtain behaviours and really going over the top with praise and attention when she displays good behaviour that way she is getting the attention for the good things and not the bad. Now she has more understanding I do try to explian why she carnt do certain things, but if she tries to pick up the baby or seems abit to rough I step in amediately to stop her, something carnt be overlooked.

Hope this helps.
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mum2charlotte

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Number of posts : 811
Localisation : Surrey
Registration date : 2007-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   18/6/2008, 5:44 am

OMG! The naughty step!!!! ranting That flippin' Supernanny is my worst nightmare!!

Deep breaths M2C......!

Right then.....as you can probably tell, the naughty step/cushion/corner/any safe part of the house/furniture simply doesn't work in my house!

Before C was diagnosed with PDA (which is an ASD) I tried this (and so many other methods aimed at "naughty" children) and all the others I could think off or find. Not one worked. C reacts very much like your cousins child, and simply laughs at me. She once even put herself on the naughty step and sat down with a bump and laughed and said: "I'm on the naughty step in case I'm naughty later on!" Sigh What a Face

I now treat her behaviour very much like Misty has already said. Punishment simply doesn't work as C doesn't understand it. I have found that if I tell her why she can't do something "Don't touch the oven it will burn you and that will hurt you and make you cry" for example, she finds it a lot easier to comply. It never works all the time, but it's a lot easier to praise her for good behaviour than to punish her for bad.

C has no understanding of cause and effect, so if she pokes the cat in the eye, (for example) she is constantly surprised that he will scratch her everytime she does it. I find it hard to punish her for something that she clearly doesn't understand, but there are times when I have no choice, 'cos like Misty says there are times when you have no choice.

Sammy.....don't listen to your family members who are telling you it's all in your head. Listen to your gut feelings, you are with the kids all the time and you know best as to whether their behaviour is different.
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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
Age : 44
Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   18/6/2008, 8:47 am

Dont we just get fed up with people who seem to be able to tell us parents who know our children best that its all in our head eh! Mad

T used to be put on the naughty chair and a buggy was used for wen we were out, this was very often and in a typical day he could be put there around 15 times. This was wen he had bit or hit another child and within minutes of him coming off the naughty chair he could go back and hurt the child again. This was before i knew his behaviours were that of an ASD.

Sammy do u have a health visitor for ur daughter? i think this could be a person to speak to who could possibly help and just listening to ur concerns can be a big help too.

Let us know how u get on hugging

_________________
Northern lass born & bred!
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sammywheeler



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Age : 31
Registration date : 2008-06-15

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   18/6/2008, 3:29 pm

my health visitor is coming for a meeting on monday to discuss her behaviour.
shes knows shes doin wrong cos after i take her off da naughty step she tells me why i put her there in the first place, but she will more then likely go & do it again a frew minutes later, or she will keep getting off. i dont like to ignore her behaviour as i dont want my baby growing up copying her.
we ad a bad day 2day wen i picked her up from skool as she wanted her yoyo which was in her skool bag which i was carrying along with a car seat & another 2 bags so couldnt get it out. i told her she will ave 2 wait til we get in the car which was about 10 meters away. so she screamed & flew herself on the ground which ment i had to practualy drag her to the car kicking & screaming while i carried everything wiv all da other mums looking at the spectal. wen i put the baby in she walked off so ad to be dragged bak & put into the car, it was a struggle to put her belt on, which she un did about 3 times then started to kick the door & the back of my chair while screaming. we got in & straight away she screamed for food which i said no at cos she would ave dinner soon so she kicked off again, so she ad time out. she came off & decided she was gonna scream into her cup at dinner time & wind the dogs up by hitting them then she threw her food at them. then she ripped the insides out off her sisters baby shoes. this is a typical day i only ave her from 7am-10am & 3.30pm-7pm but that is more than enough.
we ave to keep a behaviour diary which both her skools also write in, hopefully we will get somewhere wiv her.
shes quite violent 2wards me sometimes
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mum2charlotte

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Number of posts : 811
Localisation : Surrey
Registration date : 2007-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   19/6/2008, 12:09 pm

hugging Hang on in there, hun!

Tell your HV everything and make bloody sure she listens to you!
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GrandmaKyak

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Number of posts : 897
Localisation : East Anglia
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   19/6/2008, 2:14 pm

Let us know how you get on. Bless you both. xx
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Lolly

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Number of posts : 138
Localisation : yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-06-16

PostSubject: Re: Do you ever use   7/7/2008, 3:18 am

hope you get some help really soon,its not easy bug hang in there!
xx
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