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 Where do i start?!

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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
Age : 44
Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Where do i start?!   5/3/2008, 4:10 pm

OK i had another meeting with CAMHS and their conculsion is that T does not have a developmental problem, his problems are nothing but behavioural and his environment needs changing.

They then went on to say that they would see me and only me so that we could try out different strategies to see what works to stop the behaviours. If T has no PDD as they said on many occaisions, what strategies for what difficulties do they intend to use? im guessing it would be strategies that they suggest for children with PDDs, so i would see this as a contradiction in itself! I then brought up the fact of him not being able to cope with the children in our area with them not playing what they want him to (T cries a hell of a lot in these situations due to them not playing what he wants them to) they said T would need to be told this happens and thats how it is! do they think i have not done this all his little life and got nowhere to this day?! not only that i also told them i now have a playing out prompt up by the front door explaining certain situations and what facial expressions T would have if they children did not want to play what he wants and what he should do. Below is what i have up to help T play with the children in our area



T will say it is not ok when the children do not play what he wants them to but it stays up and i pray that one day he will be cope in these situations.

All i kept getting told was 'a lot of children do that' and 'he is doing it for a response' how can he be wanting a repsonse from having his back to people and saying 'whatever' when he should be saying good bye to them appropriately?! He is not looking for a response hence why he has his back to u not caring about a resposne! he hides when people come to the home, if he does not want the affection its not happening and even to this day he wipes off my kiss if i manage to get one which is usually only on his cheek because he screams about the germs! 'a lot of children do that' i heard again and not all babies cuddle when i said he showed no need for wanting closeness as a baby and when he hit one yr old he was VERY hard work and still is to this day!

The psycholigist was slouched, yep slouched in her chair and she kept looking at the floor and turning her head away during me speaking to them, in the end i had no choice but to tell her to look at me and not the floor, they were so rude! along with laughing when i was given expamples of his behaviour and again dismissing it as no cause for concern.

I said how are u going to know anything about my son if u never see him or never see children till they are 13, 14 & 15 yrs old? (CAMHS told me today they would be working with me and only me they dont need to see T to help with strategies) they seemed to think they could help without even seeing or interacting with T. I then asked so how are u going to know why he is saying things like, he wants me to get a knife and stab him along with wishing he had never been born? they looked at me like i was speaking a different language and then started to patronise me, to which my friend who was with me, she stepped in and said straight up 'how can u patronise her like that?' psychologist replied 'thats ur experience' WTF has experience gotta do with how she patronised me?! my gosh these people need a rocket where the sun dont shine!

My friend said she needs serious training in how to deal with parents who are there to see her for serious concerns about their children and she should no way be slouching and looking at the floor while in a meeting like this. Not one of them were taking any notes, i sat there with my pen & paper taking notes, when i got it out they looked shocked i was doing this and my friend noticed this too.

I also got told a lot during the discussion that Ts behaviours were not Autism, i told him i dont use the word Autism so can u stop saying that and an ASD consists of many different conditions under that umbrella. I reiterated that they made it clear they do not recognize PDA as a condition but it is real and its here whether they agree or not, i live with T and they dont.

In the end i put my coat on and shook my head in shame at them, what a total sham of a meeting and what a disgusting pair of professionals i had to discuss my serious concerns about T with.

I have documentated all this and it will be dispatched to the relevant parties in the morn, i dont have time to waste on ignorant folk that dont give a shit about my son when he so desperately needs help now.

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misty

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Number of posts : 783
Age : 44
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Where do i start?!   6/3/2008, 2:12 am

hugging Im so sorry the meeting went so badly. Your friend sounds lovely Im really pleased she was there to back you up, I either explode or slink into a cornr in those situations. I really hate it when people say all children do that, I get it all the time and it really grinds me down but to get that attitudes from proffesionals is unforgivable.

Take care hun xxx
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mum2charlotte

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Number of posts : 811
Localisation : Surrey
Registration date : 2007-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Where do i start?!   6/3/2008, 7:45 am

....and there I was hoping that it was just my CAMHS that were cr@p.

I am hating watching you go through this Bambi, especially as almost everything you have written could have been written by me!

Big hugs to you (and your friend, what a star!) and keep on fighting, I guess! hugging Don't let the buggers grind you down.
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GrandmaKyak

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Number of posts : 897
Localisation : East Anglia
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Where do i start?!   6/3/2008, 1:46 pm

Stay strong. You may lose the smaller battles but you will win the war. Watch this space. Love you. xx
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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
Age : 44
Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: Re: Where do i start?!   10/3/2008, 4:20 am

Thanx guys I love you

I havent been around for a while, just trying to take in all what has happened of late, even if it is crap! i refuse to let them win and they wont bloody win that i can assure them of!

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madvic



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Registration date : 2007-03-13

PostSubject: Re: Where do i start?!   17/3/2008, 10:01 am

BLess ya hunni, sounds likes you've been getting it on all sides llately babes!! We will try and come up sometime but you know how it is darling.....speak soon, Love ya's xxx
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