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 It gets worse

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Bambi
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Number of posts : 1992
Age : 44
Localisation : West Yorkshire
Registration date : 2007-03-11

PostSubject: It gets worse   21/10/2007, 2:14 pm

Well as you all know T has been having difficulty with appropriately interacting with the kids in the area/on our street.

Its not been a good weekend at all, T has been in fights now for the last week quite frequently and i am doing all i can to help him cope. I let him go to play footy with the boys and i let him have friends home to play, i truly believed T would maybe gain something from them on how to behave and whats appropriate.

He was fighting with a girl yesterday and i had to intervene (saw it happening from my kitchen window) and i couldn't control him to stop him hitting her, he was trying to hit her with the tennis racket he was playing with at the time, he was trying to pick up a plank of wood to hit her with and was throwing stones at her. He was then dropping to the floor and i had to hold him to stop his head smacking the concrete pave. I managed to get another parent to get my brother and he came (a very big man) and carried T off home telling him not to behave like this and not to hurt me.

When home T was still in a rage and a parent came with me (as support) he was trying to escape out of the house (which he does given the chance) i got hit of course and he was trying to hit others, which i would jump in to stop him doing.

This morning at 9.30 we went to watch rugby (like we do every sunday with a female friend of mine & her son) and T was ok but when we left there to go to sports world for a football for him it all went wrong. T was hiding under the rails and hitting me for no reason being very verbal with me, then when we didn't leave the store when he said to he ran off out of the store into a busy car park (like when leaving the hospital after his stay there) my friend said she will go after him so she did.

When she got out and saw him he was laughing and running further away from her oblivious to the dangers of the moving traffic, my friend tried to coax him back to her and he kept on running, he then fell and grazed his knee to which he was hysterical about. He came back in the store while i paid for his football and clothes but not without crying at the top of his voice for the whole time.

We arrived home at 3.30 (it was an away rugby match we watched) and he immediately went out to play with his new football with his friends, within minutes he was back with scratches on his hand that were bleeding and then a little later 2 kids came to tell me T had kicked another boy in his nose and the boy was bleeding. Then T came following and he said that this boy was being horrible to him, i asked why was he horrible? he replied that 'L (the boy) said it was 2-0 and it wasn't, he was lying so i kicked him in his head ' no remorse or sadness for what he had done. Its like T doesnt register it is wrong to behave like this and its the same with hurting me, yes its wrong to hurt anyone and he can tell us this at times but he clearly finds it very difficult to put it into practice, especially when things are not his way or to his liking (again not in control of the situation, so he will get angry & maybe hit out).

The parent of L came over (was expecting this) and she made it clear that T has done this before and she let it go but he has done it again and it can't go on anymore, so she is not allowing L to play with T anymore. What could i say she knows about his difficutlies and i cant blame her for not wanting her son in such a state being around T. This is so sad because in small doses i think T would probably cope better but he is playing with these children everyday and he is displaying how he 'really is' in front of them and their parents.

Ts own cousin is amongst the kids in our street and he is a fantastic role model for T to look up to (he is nearly 9yrs old), he goes to a private school and is very sensible so its nothing to do with who he is hanging around with or anything else. A child cannot help being a child but T does not always like what the other children say or do, hence why he comes in crying that they are not playing how he wants to or that they dont like him.

A lot of the kids have been VERY welcoming of T especially when they knew his big cousin lived on the same street, the kids are very polite to me and been very well behaved in my home, but like always T has got very angry with the children and they really have put up with a lot. For them to still be around and want to know him shows me a lot about their understanding (my brother and his wife have let the neighbours know T is special needs).

So now as you can see it just doesn't seem to get any easier, i have SS coming in the morning at 11am and a neighbour who has seen T in full meltdown and witnessed his behaviour first hand will be here to say EXACTLY how it is for T in regards to interacting with the children. I am done with going over & over the same thing for all these years, i cant scream for help for T anymore they have to do something before his mental health gets worse, it wont ever improve until his profile which is recognised by Nottingham, myself and his Paediatrician is totally taken on board, just so that he can handle the things in life that kids his age would no way near react the way he does about things.

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Northern lass born & bred!
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