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 What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated

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Lolly

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PostSubject: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   18/6/2007, 11:01 am

The social workers have just left after assessing j for an hour,they suggested a connors to see if there is any ASD also they are getting in touch with school and CAMHS..please can anyone advice me as to what happens to j from here&what to expect,Im finding it all quite worrying
many thanks for any help
Lolly xx
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Bambi
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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   18/6/2007, 11:32 am

How old is ur son? I dont have any advice re: CAHMS (not had a good experience with them in my area) and T is only just going back to school after not going for 6 months.

Really if there are signs that he has an ASD then the ball should be well and truly rolling now and things will happen, how fast? who knows it varies from area to area (postcode lottery).

I hope that things do move on for ya and the thelp comes but it wil take several months for CAHMS to assess and reach a conclusion.

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Lolly

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 7:50 am

thanks so much for the reply! any help is appreciated:)
my son in question is 8 he also has a 6 year old brother who has no problems academically or with behaviour..::gasp:: at postcode lottery,i feel for anyone who's *numbers dont come up!* if u get my meaning:shock: im in east yorks&was suprised to have seen the doctor&have had peeps round to *assess* j within 2weeks
thanks again&il keep u posted:cheers:
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Bambi
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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 10:02 am

Ur welcome and i try my best ;)

Pls do keep us posted and good luck!

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Donna K

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 2:08 pm

Hmm, I have just come back on here after ducking out from forums for a while and this is the first topic I came across and read! I apologise as I cannot be of help, but I have similar circumstances.

In April, I attended an appointment with A's paediatrician and he was pretty bad in that appointment ( just his usual self LOL) the paed said she was going to send out a Conners questionnaire out to both myself and to school, yet 2 months on and we have still heard NOTHING!!! I keep waiting for them to drop through the post, but I am starting to think I may just have to ring the paed and remind her :rolleyes: She also referred to CAMHS for the THIRD time and we have still heard nothing yet Sad It is all starting to wear me down and is one of the reasons I stopped visiting and posting on the forums I frequented Embarassed

A will be due another paed app in July sometime, I think it's ridiculous that we have still heard nothing yet. From either her with these questionnaires or from CAMHS.

I have had discussions with A's teacher who has finally admitted to seeing him behave how I have described and said he's a proper Jekyll and Hyde and agreed to ring social services to get someone involved to help me and someone from the NSPCC (aparrently they offer support to parents) and all I got back from her was a number to call for a behavioural advisor! Not sure what good that will do in means of support for me with A how he is. She also mentioned referring to BEST again who are within the school but as per usual, still not heard anything from them.

I have asked sure start for help, b ut they have said although it's clear help is needed, because A is now 5, they cannot do anything and has to now be done through school, I am going round in circles :| All the time A is getting worse and his temper is a major issue for the whole family, it affects us all and I thinkk that is what school etc are failing to see.
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Bambi
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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 2:20 pm

Bless u Donna Sad i knew u were taking a break as u were not about anymore and i did hope things would of got better, u need to read up on my latest fiasco's!!!

I dont like how some of us are treated and how postcode lottery seems to be how it is for teh UK when really it shoud be the same thing wherever we live but unfortunately it isnt.

I know u feel like a parrot (i do!) but do keep on at them and keep making ur notes as u go along as this will be ur evidence and people cant ignore what u have logged in black and white.

It may take a while to be heard or recognised that u are a family in desperate need of help but we can only do our best (which we all do 100%) and pray and hope for the light to brighten and not seem so dim.

Good luck hugging

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Lolly

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 4:07 pm

Oh Donna,im so sorry to hear of the trouble you are having&really feel for you,I saw a doctor LAST YEAR about J and she told me,quote "i get many tired moms in here just like yourself&u start imaging your kids have allsorts wrong with them,do a star chart,your the parent,hes the child,DEAL WITH IT"i was so upset as id gone to her as a last resort after doing the whole, fish oils,rewards,praise,diet change,ignoring etc for my sons behaviour.I went back this year to a quite taken aback Dr who refered my son there and then,2 social workers came yesterday&they are requesting a connors&CAMHS,i dont know what this all means as yet but this has all happend in the last 2 weeks .I just hope things move as quick for you as they have me,dont give up&I wish u all the best
lolly xx
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mum2charlotte

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   19/6/2007, 4:14 pm

You guys have got to move down South.
I get given it all without having to ask, or even know about it!
The downside is that I'm getting carried along with it all and I haven't got a flippin' clue what's going on half the time!
It is outrageous that some people have to fight and some don't. This has got to be addressed at some stage.....

Don't settle for what the doctors tell you....get a second opinion, look what happened when you saw doctor no. 2....
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kebab

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   20/6/2007, 4:32 am

I had the same probs with my specialist Dr I had been diagnosed with Bipolar, but this particular Dr I saw came to the conclusion that I was misarable not Bipolar, I now have a new Dr who is great (she is looking after his patients while is is away) I have told them that I will no longer see the other Dr as he only made matters worse, this has been added to my notes, everyone has the rights to pick the best person for them, my friends says new legislation allows us to decide who we want to treat us, so now if i'm not happy i change Dr and all so far touch wood has worked out well
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Donna K

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   25/6/2007, 6:24 am

thanks Bambi and Lolly Smile

I don't understand this post code lottery either, it's beyond a joke. I don't undertsand how a GP can make an unofficial dx (in her opinion she told us A had ADHD and AS) from what she has seen of him, yet the *pro's* seem to make y ou jump through hoops and repeat yoursef and try and prove what you're telling them so they believe you, or they think you're some mad tired mother imagining things! I can't believe they still have that attitude and when you're living with this every day it's beyond a flipping joke! They like to make you think you're to blame for the behaviour and suggest all these star charts etc, I went on a parenting course to help me with these issues and they thought things would get better and the problems would go away, but they don't, yes, some things improve, but it's not always a permanent improvement, OK, now how many of us HAVEN'T tried all the things that were suggested to you, Lolly? Most of the time to no avail too... A has been on the fish oils over 2 years now and there has been an improvement, but nothng overly sgnificant. Rewards are OK, he does something good, gets his reward then starts all over again, so there's no motivation, same with star / sticker sharts. Ignoring is somethig I do a lot, but often he will regain my attention by doing something really bad, usualy dangerous either to himself or his sisters, so he can't always be ignored, I can ignore the bad language to some extent, but it upsets his sisters and gets really annoying, it's awful when out in public as he screams his abuse at the top of his voice and the words he uses are truly awfu, so you can imagine the looks and comments Rolling Eyes

Fingers crossed you will get to CAMHS and the Conners will come through soon too, I am still waiting Rolling Eyes Good luck!! Very Happy X
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Lolly

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   26/6/2007, 8:02 am

Hi Donna,I really hope things move along for you,Ive recieved my copy of report that ss sent to CAMHS requesting j is screened for ADHD/ASD.I was going to keep j off school yest as hes been told he will have his timeout card ripped as he was using it as an excuse(first time he'd used it!) also teacher shouted out about him being on traffic lights so he got laughed at&was thoroughly embarassed so stormed out of the class after telling teacher to go *f* herself*(cringe)

The school now know he is waiting to be seen by CAMHS.I was uspet on the report that the school described j as a *naughty boy who does not know how to behave*and that at one point I was antagonistic! to be honest ive spent all weekend upset.but hopefully IL get answers¬ told AGAIN to do star charts/fish oils etc etc..cos they DONT work for j.it makes u feel like saying"er d'uh I never thought about a star chart or anything" and i agree it is made to look like its bad parenting/you are imagining things.
IF ONLY the *pro's* cud take my son for 24 hrs&when hes running round tesco shouting*kiss my f*in a**,climbing the banister rail at home refusing to come in then skipping dancing tapping&grunting till 11pm THEN see how they would like to be offered a Star chart!cursing
::Rant over::
always around to chat,anyone can add me to their AOL buddy if they like,hope you ok:)
xx
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Bambi
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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   26/6/2007, 8:54 am

Fingers crossed for u both to get the assessments done and dx made, it all seems so long winded and never ending but im sure (im hoping!) all will come good in the end.

Good luck Smile

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Donna K

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   26/6/2007, 8:58 am

LOL sounds like our shopping trips! A has to go in the trolley and he will kick, scream, bite, scratch etc and will shout obscenities at the top of his voice! affraid His favourite saying is *you're a stupid F***er B***h B***ard a**e Embarassed Great when you have an audience!

If he's not in the trolley he legs it and he knocks things off shelves and tries to climb and is generally hard to find! He also likes to run pushing a basket or any other object in front of him as he goes along Rolling Eyes

School on the whole for me deny what goes on, they say they have seen things but put it down to this and that and say he'll be fine, yet dinner ladies have problems with him and he always gets reprimanded at break times, has skipped going on the sad chair in favour of being sent direct to the head for language and hitting/ kicking other kids, yes, he is a little angel who never does anything wrong in school! Rolling Eyes if they admit it to me I wish they would do it in writing when asked by the *pro's* at least then we could get some progress.

I;m not surprised you told the teacher to do that, I feel like telling A's teacher too at times Embarassed A tells me she's a pain in the b***h ar*e Wink I think he's right! And yes, they know where to shove their star charts!! I would stick with the fish oil though, it has helped A concentrate a bit better, but not calmed him down any. I give him two tablets a day (pack says one a day) so he gets more in him Smile I wish they could take A away too when he;s like that and I think they would have a very different idea then Smile
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Lolly

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   26/6/2007, 1:10 pm

u sure cheered me up..it was J my son who told the teacher that,not me..though I damn well felt like it lol
on way to parents eve tonight all I got was FFS do we have to go see them d***s? he also commented that since hes been working in a *special* room his teacher has been popping in&been so nice to him so he said to her "no point kissing my a*** now is there u fat b****(cringe AGAIN!)
At parents eve
the boys were offered a biccy&sat still&quiet:-s: then jay was up&trying to swing off the apparatus in the hall:)
I had an apology from the teacher who *commented in his report* and I was Assured she didnt make these comments&was very annoyed/upset&wants to ring&complain..Great,is nothing straight forward lol
I explained the whole giong on with SS &CAMHS etc,she was quite suprised but understanding& aslo did mention that,in assembly,jay was spinning round&round in circles on his bum,staring into space&oblivious of his surroundings!hooray someone REALISED!!
here hoping each&everyone of us get to were we need to be:cheers:
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Donna K

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PostSubject: Re: What can I expect,any help& advice v much appreciated   26/6/2007, 2:21 pm

I shoudn't laugh but what he said to his teacher is kind of funny, even if it did make you cringe, he was actually right in what he said, even if he didn't use the correct terminology LOL.

Thing with our kids is, they're to the point no matter how harsh it may seem to who they say things to. Maybe she will realise what he has felt like with her being like that with him for so long!!

I'm glad someone has noticed and acknowledged what's going on an hopefully will do something!

ANyone I speak to that has seen A doing things have either not been in a capacity to be able to do anything OR they have been and told to leave it affraid

There's a mentor at our kids school and she was meant to be observing A for me to get a clear pic, she came to me sayig he spent most of playtime opening and shutting one of the doors repeatedly and when asked to stop he scowled and growled at her so she left him to it so as not to start him off, well, that was one morning's observation and after that she was told she was no longer needed to observe him and that the head (who's SENCO) said he would take over the role, funny that because since then NOTHING has been recorded or observed Rolling Eyes

A goes through a new pair of pants n school about every three weeks because he spins on one knee continuously, according to teacher, he never spins, yet his trousers have these holes in them!!!

Swept under the carpet?? I think so Wink
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