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 Screaming

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misty

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Number of posts : 783
Age : 44
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Screaming   21/7/2008, 5:52 am

Im not sure how to deal with this one.

dd loves her baby brother but just recently has strted screaming in his face to make him cry (she does it when he is asleep aswell) I understand why she does it, she wants to be helpfull and tell me he needs milk Rolling Eyes Ive 2 problems here, how do I break the behaviour of screaming and how do I get her to understand that she dosent have to make him cry to get him to want milk, but we just have to wait for him to decide he wants it himself. Ive tried talking to her but she dosnt seem to understand. And I lost my rag last night after she had done it in the car while he was sleeping and then again as I was settling him for bed, I yelled, which made the baby cry even more then made her sit in the corner without really explaining why she was putthere. I was more interested in settling the baby again. While I understand how her autism is causing her behaviour I can see that there are times when the babys needs have to come before that.

Any advice would be grately appreciated, the baby absolutely adores dd but Im worried this behaviour will eventually make him scared of her Sad
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kebab

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Number of posts : 347
Age : 40
Localisation : Northants
Registration date : 2007-03-14

PostSubject: Re: Screaming   21/7/2008, 6:37 am

My cousin has the same problem with her daughter, although she loves her sister (5months old) she can be quite horrible to her, taking her dummy of her when she is sleeping, waking her up in the morning by getting in her cot, the other day while my cousin was getting dressed her baby let out an almighty scream, when she came running her daughter was standing next to her saying "I didn't do anything" (her fav saying at the mo) my cousin then noticed a red mark on the baby's hand, apparently her daughter had bit her really hard, although the reason was unclear. Then at other time she give the baby lots of cuddles and is very protective, especialy when I say she is my baby. Although this is not an explination I just thought I let you know you are not alone in this xx
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mum2charlotte

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Number of posts : 811
Localisation : Surrey
Registration date : 2007-03-27

PostSubject: Re: Screaming   21/7/2008, 7:40 am

C does this too.

With the cat. Rolling Eyes

It only ever seems to be when he isn't doing anything, which is most of the time when you're a cat. Smile

I THINK she does it for a reaction, but when he DOES react it's painful for her as he will scratch her. Nothing I can say will stop it either. I guess it's maybe down to the fact that she (like a lot of Autistic kids) doesn't understand cause and effect. No matter how many times it happen, she's always surprised when after screaming in his ears he attacks her.

I can now no longer leave them in the same room as she can be a right pest and he has a short fuse. I have noticed though that she will start that horrible giggling while she is tormenting him, so even if my back is turned I can either remove him or distract her.

I have repeatedly told her that he is asleep (when he is, obviously!) and he doesn't like to be woken up. She must let him sleep as he is a bit old and a bit sick and he'll wake up grumpy. When he's awake and day dreaming I tell her that he will be scared and how horrible it would be for him.

I have no idea if it works, as she will repeatedly pester him, but I feel I have to say something to her in the hope that one day she WILL understand.

Misty, can DD sit in the front of the car? Or can the baby go in the front instead?

If she absolutely must go near the baby when he's asleep, can she be encouraged to make a quieter noise? maybe a little quiet singing or a whispered nursery rhyme? It might be less scary for him.
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misty

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Number of posts : 783
Age : 44
Registration date : 2007-03-12

PostSubject: Re: Screaming   24/7/2008, 2:16 am

Thankyou both for the support hugging mumtoc Ive tried geting her to sing to ds, which she does do and loves it but then will scream doh I know shes doing it to get a reaction. Kebab that must be so hard with the biting, thankfully dd dosent do that (did I speak to soon?)
I hit rock bottom with it yesturday once both kids where in bed I had abit of a cry and I hope Ive got it out my system now, I have been worrying that ds will grow to be scared of dd but Im planning lots of nice things they can do together over the hols and Im going to encourage dd to help ds with playdo, painting etc (oh man Im in for a messy time) and Im hoping to get some one-one time with dd as I think shes becoming abit jelous.
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